Obsessive Confusion

          It has come to my attention that I am slightly obsessive-compulsive in my day to day activities. I am a person who loves order; a creature of habit if you will. I adore routine and predictability. I know my comfort zone, and stay well inside it. It is not uncommon for me to be mocked for my need to keep things clean and have everything in its place. I have a way of doing just about every household task. I like going through a familiar process. The laundry is folded a certain way, the dishes put in a pre-determined order, the vacuuming done in a particular fashion and so forth.

           

However, the question of why I do this has recently surfaced. The way I see it, I only have a certain amount of control over every aspect of my life. My desire to do things in a particular way further enables my need for routine. This stems from a lack of order in my own life. This is not to say that my life is in a constant state of anarchy or turmoil. It is merely a desire to have some measure of control in a time when I know very little about my future. Life is complicated and ever changing. Change can be a good thing! I just wish I had more information about the ramifications of the decisions I make. I recall simpler times when decisions were not so heavily weighted.

As a child, the choices I made were relatively simple. The hardest question I had to answer was “what is your favorite Pokémon?” Alas, I had to grow up one day. Nowadays, the most common question that plagues me is “what are you doing with your life?” It’s easy enough to spout off facts about a five year plan but in reality I have no idea whatsoever! At one point and time, the question would have caused me a great deal of distress and discomfort. For now, I’m merely taking courses I find interesting and engaging. As each semester goes by, the question gets to be a bit more of a larger burden. In due time I’ll have to decide where I want to go with my life. All I really know is that I want to experience Europe before life sweeps me away. For now, it is what it is and that’s what it will be.

           Although, I still have a hard time answering who my favorite Pokémon is to this day...